Wednesday, January 25, 2012

My progress so far

Here is a picture of me in August and a picture of me taken by my sweet son this morning. I am really feeling great! I can't wait to see my end results!!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Loose

My pants are getting loose that is! I have no doubt that within a few weeks I will finally be in a 12! I am thrilled beyond belief with myself. And I haven't even started working out yet!!! Wow!

I cannot believe I have actually done this! I have lost 15 lbs as of Sunday morning(my usual weigh in day) and while most times, I generally begin pigging out at this point, I don't want to pig out. In fact, thinking of pigging out makes me nauseated!

I have been eating so well for 24 days that now when I think of certain foods I used to eat or like, I get grossed out. When I start thinking about cheating or eating a piece of chocolate or candy, I tell myself to think of something else, get a drink of water and if I still can't think of anything else, to go ahead and indulge. It works. My mind is averted and I move on with my day. I haven't craved a soda since the second or third day after quitting. I saw a commercial for Burger King the other day and there was a man shoving french fries in his mouth. I literally felt total disgust and realized I used to eat those! Gross!!! And those burgers? Why did I do that to myself??? I would much rather have a nice turkey burger that I made at home. Last night I made my favorite cheddar ranch turkey burgers, which are only about 150 calories per (small) patty. I have stopped serving them with a bun or bread, so we eat them with a fork. My kids asked for seconds. Music to my ears!

I am not sure what finally clicked in my head to get this train moving so fast, but I like it. And I am feeling great and ready to finally move beyond the 15/20 pound barrier I have previously been stuck at.

This morning, I was able to put on a pair of pants that were tight last week. Today, they are a little loose. I was also able to put on a shirt I have not worn in well over a year and it fits perfectly. I was able to look in the  mirror and smile! I am starting to like what I see there!!

When I came out of my bedroom, my son said, "Mommy, you look skinnier today." That right there made me feel like a million bucks!!!

Monday, January 16, 2012

It's Working! Finally!

I'm down 11 pounds!!! I'm down 11 pounds!!! I'm down 11 pounds!! WAHOO!!!!

I've made it through 2 weeks now and I am still feeling motivated! I really think motivation is the biggest thing here. Usually once I get to a certain point, I pretty much give up and go back to my old habits. Not this time. This time, I'm making my menu for the week and only buying groceries according to those things. I avoid the middle of the grocery store like the plague. If I do have to go down the dreaded snack aisle, I make a mad dash for the whole wheat crackers and run back out. Whew!

There are some amazing side effects of my new healthy eating lifestyle:

For starters, my children have gone through 4 bags of those cuties (you know, the little clementines?) in two weeks. Yesterday at the grocery store, I bought a 5 lb box of them. Maybe they will last the whole week!

Secondly, since I quit drinking coke, I only craved one in the first few days. In fact, yesterday, my husband asked for a coke and I thought I might have one too. So, I got one for him and myself. I took one sip and was completely disgusted. It tasted like chemicals! Gross! I gave it to him. Here's the best part! Since he also quit drinking sodas when I did, he only drank half of his and put the rest in the fridge. It was still there last time I looked. This is so great!!

Third, we went out to dinner on this past Friday evening. Neither of us ate our whole plate. This is huge for us!

There are many others, but the only other one I'm going to talk about here is my energy level. I cut out a lot of things. Sugar, fast food, coke(as in the soda, ok?), rice, pasta, white bread, etc, etc. In fact, if I use bread at all, then I use whole wheat. I added in lots of fruit and lots of veggies. Anyhow, my energy level has perked up considerably in the last week. This weekend, I had a sick baby who kept me up all night, but I still didn't need to take a nap during the day! I am one of those people that can usually sleep at any point in the day. I could probably sleep for days. But, now I'm feeling so much better!

This is truly amazing! It's turning into an eye opener for me. I think I mentioned the purple journal with butterflies on it that my husband bought for me to write in. I haven't written anything yet, but last week, after a particularly bad day at work, I found myself craving a cheeseburger and some chocolate. And the light bulb went off in my head. I figured out one of my triggers! Why didn't I think of this before? Why have I spent the last two years, feeling miserable about my body, and not knowing why I was eating the things I was eating?

Here's the best part about that stressful day. I didn't stray from what I should eat. I told myself I would be ok, and I was! Wow.

I'm excited to see what the next few weeks bring. And my next goal? P90X. Yep. I'm going to try it.

Monday, January 2, 2012

I'm still hungry

Well, it's day 2. I'm hungry. And grumpy. And I'd love to drink an ice cold coke. Yummmmm, that super cold feeling going down my throat. Scrumptious bubbles! But, I won't. And I haven't all day. I made some really tasty food today, but I am still hungry.

For lunch I had a cauliflower crust pizza which was surprisingly delightful. I didn't even realize it was cauliflower! Well, ok, I knew it was because I slaved over those little white trees and shredded them with a cheese grater after squeezing the excess liquid by hand, one by one! I went through a lot of trouble to make that sucker! It stuck to the pan, so I tore it all up when I flipped it. But it did taste good and my children thought it was good. They had no idea there were veggies in that pizza! Bonus!!!

For dinner, I made a Parmesan crusted tilapia and served it with salad and green beans. I sat at the table, which I actually cleaned off and wiped down this morning with the kids to eat. I am not sure if they were more excited that I sat and ate dinner with them or if they really thought it tasted good, but I felt dinner was a success. I personally really liked the taste of the fish.

But fish is not filling at all! I was hungry an hour later! I was ready to binge. Fortunately for me, I have rid my house of anything to binge on except fruits or veggies. So, my binge consisted of a bowl of pineapples. Now, I don't have any for the rest of the week since I went over grocery budget. This is not cool. Sigh. Another fortunate thing about being so hungry right now is that I didn't shower today. Yes, I'm gross. But hey, when you have a toddler, sometimes,  you just have to forego the shower. I mean, unless you enjoy a tiny person yanking on your extremities and poking at your naked body...

Anywho...I didn't want to leave the house in my unshowered state. Plus, the baby has gone to bed. So, I chugged more water. That didn't really help. So, I folded laundry. I FOLDED LAUNDRY!!!!!!!!! That folks, is a bonified miracle. And with that, I have made it through another day of "being healthy".

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Motivated

Today is January 1, 2012! I know it's pretty corny to have a resolution to lose weight, and get healthy and all that jazz. But, I really need to and today seemed the best time to start over, especially since I've been feeling some clouds lifting for a week or two.

For many months now, I have not been doing well emotionally. I do take medication for my depression and anxiety, but I got very stressed out and spent my days just holding on until lunchtime. And then holding on until 4 o'clock. And then until I got to my babies. And then until bedtime. I was crawling into bed by 8 pm almost every night that I didn't have to be anywhere and then hoping that the morning never came, because I just wanted to sleep. Obviously, this is no way to live.

I really don't know when my emotional eating began. I don't know when I became so obsessed with food. What I do know is that it has to end now. It has to end because I have two little souls who depend on me to teach them and guide them. The way I was eating and allowing my family to eat was not okay. This change will be hard on all of us. But it will make us all healthier and stronger.

So, I begin another journey. My goal is to cut out sugar. I joined a no sugar challenge for the month of January on another website. It is damn near impossible to stick to the rules they have set forth. So, I'm doing my own modified version of this. On the advice of my SIL, I will not allow myself to eat anything with more than 4 grams of sugar, because sometimes, you just can't avoid it altogether. I will switch things out when I can. I am replacing sodas with water and unsweetened iced tea. I am replacing chips with carrots. Snacks have now been divided into 100 calorie portion sized ziplock baggies and placed in a designated snack area. There is one in the fridge and one in the pantry. I am replacing sweets with fruit. I am also trying to limit carbs as much as I can. No rice, pasta, white flour, etc. I will work some of these things back in eventually, but in the wheat or brown forms and only in moderation.

Most importantly, I will remember that I am human. I will make mistakes. I'm sure there will be days where I just really want a glass of wine or a piece of cake, or some really greasy pizza. But I will get healthy. The number on the scale isn't the most important thing to me anymore. The size of my jeans isn't either. It's the way I see myself in the mirror and the way I feel about myself that matters now. It's taken me a long time to realize this. I can do it. I will do it.

Day 1:

Weight: 202
Bust: 42 inches
Waist: 35
Hips: 47

Today, I feel motivated. I feel like I can do this. I feel like I can regain control of myself again. I did not have a soda today and I didn't really care. This is a big deal. I walked to the park with the kids. I pushed Stella on the swing and then walked back home. I even cleaned a little. I said a little because that is something else I need to work on. But this time, I come first. I put me last for way too long.

My husband says I should start a food journal; that I should write what I eat all day and how I felt when I ate it. I think this might help me. I might keep a handwritten personal journal, but I will also try to keep one here on this blog as well.