Friday, September 23, 2011

Stress=Weight Loss?

I don't know if it does for everyone since all people are different. I know some people don't eat at all when they're stressed and get all skinny and anorexic looking, but some eat way more and get all bloated and stuff.

For me, it just depends. I already have anxiety. When I'm anxious I tend to not eat because of how I feel. If you have never suffered with a real anxiety disorder, there is not a great way for me to explain how it feels to be anxious. I can try, but this picture says it best...
That and the fact that you constantly have a sick feeling in your stomach like you're nervous all the time and your heart feels like it will beat out of your chest at any moment. Your brain races at a hundred miles per hour and every time your kid asks you a question, you start freaking out. You can't drive without thinking everyone is trying to hit you and you constantly second guess everything you're doing or saying. Who wants to eat when they feel that way?

Anyway, I'm going through a bit of a stressful time right now, and I keep forgetting to eat. Despite my daily medication, my anxiety is through the roof and I have been having to take the emergency pills quite a bit. Yesterday, I barely ate a thing. I forgot to eat breakfast and then ate some lunch(a cup of noodles-WHEEE!) since it was too late for breakfast and then I forgot to eat dinner. By the time I was at home from baseball practice and the kids were in bed(yes, I fed them much earlier in the evening), I decided it was too late to eat anyway. So, I ate a thing of yogurt, which made me want to gag because I hate yogurt. The texture of it makes me feel quite pukey. Blech. So, I drank some water and crawled into bed, hoping for some sweet release. But alas, I could not sleep. Stupid anxiety.

My whole weight loss journey has kind of gotten off track lately. I haven't been working out, unless you count chasing my toddler and playing baseball in the backyard with my son. I haven't been logging my meals into my fitness pal account...but then again, I keep forgetting to eat and because of my anxiety levels at this time, I forget what I'm doing every 5 minutes anyway. Anyway, despite all these stress factors, I still find my pants getting saggier. It is strange, but I won't complain. All I want is to feel normal and healthy and be able to eat without feeling like I will throw up at any second. Thanks anxiety. Thanks so much.

One really good thing though, is that even though I've fallen off the no coke(cola, not powder)wagon, and have started to drink it again, I am drinking it way less. As in, I can't even finish a whole can when I open it. My husband keeps getting annoyed because he finds half drunk cans in the kitchen. "What a waste!" he says. In my mind though, this is a good thing. Good because I'm not getting the cravings as often, and good because when the craving does hit, it just takes a couple of sips to remember that I don't really care about it that much anymore.

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