So, this weekend, my dear friend came over the house with her old school video camera in tow. I have known her since we were in elementary school, and we lived together for a year in college. We spent all of our time together during those college years, short lived(for me)as they were. She videotaped everything. We taped various escapades and conversations, and there was even a heartfelt monologue of sorts by me set to cheesy music in which I expressed my love for her and our friendship because I would soon be marrying a member of the army and would be moving away. I didn't end up marrying that guy, so I never moved away, but it was a tear jerking scene anyhow.
The whole point of this is to say that seeing myself pre-kids at the ripe old age of 19 and 20 was so eye opening. Oh my hotness! I was smokin!!! I looked darn good! I could not stop staring at myself and marveling at what a great body I had back then! The whole time I was laughing hysterically at our goofy antics on screen, I was thinking to myself how I would love to look like that again!!!
And then came the guilt because I slacked so much last week. I didn't count my calories several of the days during the week. While I did do my C25K app three days in a row, I didn't do much else in the way of exercise and I refused to step on the scale Sunday morning because of my lack of self control in the kitchen...or at the sushi place...ahi tower? Yes please!!!
I just keep thinking about those videos and how amazing I looked and damn if I don't wish I could get to that point!!! So, beginning yesterday, I gave myself a proverbial slap on the wrist and got back to the nitty gritty. I entered every morsel into my calorie counter. I have a cold or some other sinus related illness, so I went to bed early, rather than working out last night, but that's alright. What good am I to anyone if I'm a snotty mess?
Let's get this straight. I know I probably won't look as adorable and fit as I did pre-babies. I mean, sure I could probably get to that weight, but there are now stretchmarks(or as I like to call them, Mommy badges) marking my body and no matter how hard I try, I will likely never get rid of that bit of extra skin on my lower abdomen. I did have 10 pound babies, you know! But this is ok with me. If I can get to a place where I feel as good about myself as I looked in those videos, I think all will be right with me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Got Milk?
The last couple of weeks, I have been pretty stressed and haven't had a huge appetite. I either forget to eat when I'm stressed or I go the opposite route of snacking myself fat. Since I have been doing this the last month or so, I have really stopped snacking much at all and haven't really been all that hungry, so I knew this time of stress could result in the "forgetting" to eat issue. I decided that I cannot afford to be unhealthy and skip meals because that always ends up badly for me. I do have a family to take care of, after all.
So, I bought a box of Special K cereal, thinking I would eat it for breakfast and lunch. There is an actual Special K diet you know! Supposedly if you eat it for breakfast and lunch and eat a sensible dinner you can lose 100 pounds in 6 weeks. Or is it 6 inches in 2 weeks? Ha ha. I joke, but it's actually a diet. I don't necessarily feel the need to do the Special K diet, but I did need something I could make sure was available and easy to eat during the two times it is easiest for me to forget to eat.
Anyhow, in my quest to continue to count calories but still make sure I eat something, I bought the cereal. Monday morning, as I left for work(later than I should have been leaving), I realized that while I packed my cereal and my banana, I forgot some milk. I stopped at a gas station for some milk and there was a sign where it would have been that said, "Need Milk? See cashier."
'Hmmm...this is strange,' I thought to myself. But I asked the cashier for some milk. She brought me a single bottle of Promised Land. I was kind of excited because that is the expensive milk! I bought it and went on my merry way to work. I poured my cereal and my milk and sat down at my desk to eat it while I checked my emails. After the first bite, I realized something wasn't right. I sniffed the cereal and the milk smelled off. Ugh! Of course, I couldn't eat another bite. And what would I do for lunch?? Dang. I didn't feel like eating dry cereal, but luckily for me, I had a Special K protein meal bar in my desk from who knows when! YAY! Special K saved the day! Also, it was chocolaty chip, which makes every thing better.
Tuesday, I drove through McDonalds for milk because I figured surely they would not have bad milk. I tell the drive thru screen, "I would like a bottle of water and a jug of milk please." "I'm sorry but we only have chocolate milk" the voice said. Hmm. Well, I didn't have time to go anywhere else, so I said it was fine. Actually it didn't taste bad in the cereal since I obviously have the chocolate delight Special K. I decided I would stop at the store for some skim milk on the way home from baseball practice.
Wouldn't you know that my husband's truck broke down and we had to rescue him. I didn't think we would make it to baseball practice. We did, but I was so flustered from the change in routine that I completely forgot about milk. So, through the Mcdonald's drive thru I went again this morning. Again, they only had chocolate milk. I said that was fine and came to work. Then I realized my cereal box only had one serving left. AHHHH!!!
Other than all of that craziness, the skinny quest is moving along nicely. I mean, I'm not dropping 10 pounds a week or anything. In fact, it took me two weeks to drop one pound recently, but I also have not been working out as much as I had been. I do feel I've made a pretty big change though. I'd rather just go home and eat a sandwich or a salad than drive through for a burger. I tried to drink a soda yesterday when I got the hankering and could only have a few sips. It tasted like chemicals. Weird.
Slowly but surely, I will be skinny again!
So, I bought a box of Special K cereal, thinking I would eat it for breakfast and lunch. There is an actual Special K diet you know! Supposedly if you eat it for breakfast and lunch and eat a sensible dinner you can lose 100 pounds in 6 weeks. Or is it 6 inches in 2 weeks? Ha ha. I joke, but it's actually a diet. I don't necessarily feel the need to do the Special K diet, but I did need something I could make sure was available and easy to eat during the two times it is easiest for me to forget to eat.
Anyhow, in my quest to continue to count calories but still make sure I eat something, I bought the cereal. Monday morning, as I left for work(later than I should have been leaving), I realized that while I packed my cereal and my banana, I forgot some milk. I stopped at a gas station for some milk and there was a sign where it would have been that said, "Need Milk? See cashier."
'Hmmm...this is strange,' I thought to myself. But I asked the cashier for some milk. She brought me a single bottle of Promised Land. I was kind of excited because that is the expensive milk! I bought it and went on my merry way to work. I poured my cereal and my milk and sat down at my desk to eat it while I checked my emails. After the first bite, I realized something wasn't right. I sniffed the cereal and the milk smelled off. Ugh! Of course, I couldn't eat another bite. And what would I do for lunch?? Dang. I didn't feel like eating dry cereal, but luckily for me, I had a Special K protein meal bar in my desk from who knows when! YAY! Special K saved the day! Also, it was chocolaty chip, which makes every thing better.
Tuesday, I drove through McDonalds for milk because I figured surely they would not have bad milk. I tell the drive thru screen, "I would like a bottle of water and a jug of milk please." "I'm sorry but we only have chocolate milk" the voice said. Hmm. Well, I didn't have time to go anywhere else, so I said it was fine. Actually it didn't taste bad in the cereal since I obviously have the chocolate delight Special K. I decided I would stop at the store for some skim milk on the way home from baseball practice.
Wouldn't you know that my husband's truck broke down and we had to rescue him. I didn't think we would make it to baseball practice. We did, but I was so flustered from the change in routine that I completely forgot about milk. So, through the Mcdonald's drive thru I went again this morning. Again, they only had chocolate milk. I said that was fine and came to work. Then I realized my cereal box only had one serving left. AHHHH!!!
Other than all of that craziness, the skinny quest is moving along nicely. I mean, I'm not dropping 10 pounds a week or anything. In fact, it took me two weeks to drop one pound recently, but I also have not been working out as much as I had been. I do feel I've made a pretty big change though. I'd rather just go home and eat a sandwich or a salad than drive through for a burger. I tried to drink a soda yesterday when I got the hankering and could only have a few sips. It tasted like chemicals. Weird.
Slowly but surely, I will be skinny again!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Taste the Rainbow
I totally just ate some skittles. They tasted amazing. I won't lie. They tasted fricking amazing! Also, I had a soda this weekend. Ok, I actually had two. Ok, ok, I also had two pieces of pizza. What has the world come to??!!! Everyone run!!!
Alright, it isn't the end of the world I suppose...yet. I do feel as if I have been doing exceedingly well for a self admitted cheeseburger and coke addict. I'm talking coca-cola, not the white powder ok? I'm not that crazy.
This weekend, I just kind of had enough, you know? Like, I was just so tired and so over worrying about every calorie. So, I didn't count calories. I didn't work out. Don't get me wrong, I didn't run out and get big cheeseburgers or a big gulp soda. But, I did eat some pizza at a friend's house. Eh, whatevs. I didn't turn into a cheeseburger eating fool and go nuts with the soda. I just started over again on Monday.
Yes, I just ate some skittles, but it's alright. Tomorrow, I won't and tonight I'll work out. I'll live. No use feeling bad.
See, I'm learning!
Alright, it isn't the end of the world I suppose...yet. I do feel as if I have been doing exceedingly well for a self admitted cheeseburger and coke addict. I'm talking coca-cola, not the white powder ok? I'm not that crazy.
This weekend, I just kind of had enough, you know? Like, I was just so tired and so over worrying about every calorie. So, I didn't count calories. I didn't work out. Don't get me wrong, I didn't run out and get big cheeseburgers or a big gulp soda. But, I did eat some pizza at a friend's house. Eh, whatevs. I didn't turn into a cheeseburger eating fool and go nuts with the soda. I just started over again on Monday.
Yes, I just ate some skittles, but it's alright. Tomorrow, I won't and tonight I'll work out. I'll live. No use feeling bad.
See, I'm learning!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Bonding=Exercise!
Yesterday, baby girl stayed home with Dad while I took little man to his baseball practice. As it is still summer, and really hot, only a few kids on the team showed up. So, when it was time for them to bat, us parents went out on the field. I played first base. My son thought this was so awesome. He kept grinning at me. I definitely got a nice little workout. While I wasn't running the whole time, I did work up a sweat and my heart rate went up several times. Also, it was alot of fun.
Since I got going with this I have actually lost weight! It feels amazing! I have noticed when I start thinking about snacking, that I'm really not hungry at all, but am bored. So, I have been pouring myself a glass of water and busying myself doing something else. I have noticed that if I don't care for what I'm eating, rather than cook another entire meal(yes, I totally did this before)after a few bites, I just stop eating and maybe allow myself a nice healthy snack later. I have stopped getting seconds immediately upon finishing the first helping, drinking a glass of water instead and thinking about whether I really am still hungry or not. I have noticed that I am actually starting to crave working out. On the days I don't do anything, I feel gross. I feel as if I need to jump up and run away. I have noticed I am no longer craving fast food and when I get the itch to eat something "different" and I start looking around at my options, I start thinking about how many calories and how much fat and grease is in that food and I get grossed out. I had McDonald's for the first time in weeks last week. I felt sick and gross for two days afterward. I would much rather eat some fresh fruit than ice cream. I would much rather eat a nice turkey sandwich on wheat bread at home, than a greasy cheeseburger at a fast food joint.
This process has not been easy. I struggle with thoughts about food and sodas every day. I struggle with the thought of just lying down and going to sleep every day. I struggle doing the moves of my various workout videos and I struggle to keep up sometimes. It is a battle every day. But it is a battle that I am starting to feel like I'm winning.
Since I got going with this I have actually lost weight! It feels amazing! I have noticed when I start thinking about snacking, that I'm really not hungry at all, but am bored. So, I have been pouring myself a glass of water and busying myself doing something else. I have noticed that if I don't care for what I'm eating, rather than cook another entire meal(yes, I totally did this before)after a few bites, I just stop eating and maybe allow myself a nice healthy snack later. I have stopped getting seconds immediately upon finishing the first helping, drinking a glass of water instead and thinking about whether I really am still hungry or not. I have noticed that I am actually starting to crave working out. On the days I don't do anything, I feel gross. I feel as if I need to jump up and run away. I have noticed I am no longer craving fast food and when I get the itch to eat something "different" and I start looking around at my options, I start thinking about how many calories and how much fat and grease is in that food and I get grossed out. I had McDonald's for the first time in weeks last week. I felt sick and gross for two days afterward. I would much rather eat some fresh fruit than ice cream. I would much rather eat a nice turkey sandwich on wheat bread at home, than a greasy cheeseburger at a fast food joint.
This process has not been easy. I struggle with thoughts about food and sodas every day. I struggle with the thought of just lying down and going to sleep every day. I struggle doing the moves of my various workout videos and I struggle to keep up sometimes. It is a battle every day. But it is a battle that I am starting to feel like I'm winning.
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