Oh my HOTNESS!!!

So, this weekend, my dear friend came over the house with her old school video camera in tow. I have known her since we were in elementary school, and we lived together for a year in college. We spent all of our time together during those college years, short lived(for me)as they were. She videotaped everything. We taped various escapades and conversations, and there was even a heartfelt monologue of sorts by me set to cheesy music in which I expressed my love for her and our friendship because I would soon be marrying a member of the army and would be moving away. I didn't end up marrying that guy, so I never moved away, but it was a tear jerking scene anyhow.

The whole point of this is to say that seeing myself pre-kids at the ripe old age of 19 and 20 was so eye opening. Oh my hotness! I was smokin!!! I looked darn good! I could not stop staring at myself and marveling at what a great body I had back then! The whole time I was laughing hysterically at our goofy antics on screen, I was thinking to myself how I would love to look like that again!!!

And then came the guilt because I slacked so much last week. I didn't count my calories several of the days during the week. While I did do my C25K app three days in a row, I didn't do much else in the way of exercise and I refused to step on the scale Sunday morning because of my lack of self control in the kitchen...or at the sushi place...ahi tower? Yes please!!!

I just keep thinking about those videos and how amazing I looked and damn if I don't wish I could get to that point!!! So, beginning yesterday, I gave myself a proverbial slap on the wrist and got back to the nitty gritty. I entered every morsel into my calorie counter. I have a cold or some other sinus related illness, so I went to bed early, rather than working out last night, but that's alright. What good am I to anyone if I'm a snotty mess?

Let's get this straight. I know I probably won't look as adorable and fit as I did pre-babies. I mean, sure I could probably get to that weight, but there are now stretchmarks(or as I like to call them, Mommy badges) marking my body and no matter how hard I try, I will likely never get rid of that bit of extra skin on my lower abdomen. I did have 10 pound babies, you know! But this is ok with me. If I can get to a place where I feel as good about myself as I looked in those videos, I think all will be right with me.